Wow. I'm laying here on my IKEA futon bed with my cat curled up at my feet, the morning sun sweetly shining in my room. Well, at least it used to be my room. Now it more resembles one of the display rooms at a furniture store. Everything that made it mine is now stored in a card board box in my garage awaiting loading into a moving cubicle.
I found my self feeling strange as I stretched packing tape across my last box yesterday. Lifting onto the stack of 17 other boxes I thought, "I don't want this to be the last box. This is it, things will never be the same." At the same time, "I'm going spend the rest of my life with this man, who has become my best and closest friend, the lover of my heart and the husband of my dreams. WOOOHOOOO BABY!"
The weird part is that I can have both of these emotions at the very same time. "Yeah baby, I gettin' hitched to my dream guy!' and "Oh my gosh, no, this can't be my last box. Maybe if I find something else to pack this really won't be happening. I won't be leaving but I'll still be getting married."
Ha! Bless my heart. So much change and transition has kissed me in the past year that a part of my heart is getting used to it. But, the excitement I feel to be with my Love for always and the freaking outness I feel for leaving in such a permanent way my folks is a very interesting set of emotions I've been examining inside myself.
Being a drama queen doesn't help either!
So, as I set off on this adventure I am anticipating the joy I will revel in as I'm comforted with the thought that I won't take another journey without a hand to hold, his hand.